Daddy's boy
by calicoskies4ever
Summary: This story takes place when Lex is in the mental hospital, basicly where the show is now. Some slash, dark places, and things that go bump in the night. Yeah um I would love reviews please, but uh no flames :)
1. Lex's nightmare

I woke up and it was cold. It was cold and I couldn't move my arms.  
  
Straightjacket. . .  
  
"Fuck," I muttered, or at least tried to. It came out sounding more like a frog croaking than anything else. Funny, I'm starting to sound like that asthmatic little wimp again. Better stop that.  
  
"Wonderful language, Lex." My father. Oh, Christ. This is exactly how I wanted him to see me. The last thing in the world that I needed was my dad looking at me in a goddamn mental hospital.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Visiting my son," he explained. I opened my eyes. The lights were really bright, too bright I though, but what can you do about that. Who was I going to complain to? Mr. Straightjacket? Or even better maybe Mr. Sedative.  
  
"Since when do you give a damn about me?" The frog voice sill lingered. I couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since I had last spoken anything. All I remembered was Clark, and then-my head hurt.  
  
"I have always cared for you." Dad dropped to his knees next to me. He ran a hand over my head. "I have always cared very deeply for you."  
  
Oh no. Not this again. Please God anything but this.  
  
"Dad, no." I begged. But it was too late. He always got what he wanted. He always just took it.  
  
"Now just relax, Lex. This will all be over shortly. I'm sure you remember." How could I forget? It all started when I was. . . I don't know. I can always remember him doing this. One of the nannies said I was a pain in the ass to get potty trained I was about four by the time I got out of diapers. So he's probably been doing this to me all my life.  
  
When I was little and he would do this all the time it was easy to slip away. I had this whole fantasy world in my mind. I would dream about comics, pretending I was in one. In comics everything was simple. The good guy always won. The bad guy was always defeated at the end of the episode. Once in a while you got a two parter but even then you knew it would turn out okay.  
  
In real life nothing was that simple. In real life my father always came back. I tried concentrating on Clark. At least I knew he would never ever hurt me like this.  
  
Clark.  
  
Where was he? Why wasn't he here? It had seemed that lately Clark Kent had been my own personal guardian angle. So how come he wasn't here? How come he wasn't protecting me from my dad? Why? It wasn't fair. Nobody ever protected me from him; I was starting to think that nobody, not even Clark, could.  
  
"Dad," I whimpered. "Please."  
  
"Shhhhh, just relax, Lex. I'm almost finished."  
  
And then he was.  
  
And it was all over.  
  
At least, until he decided to come back again. I bit down on my lip to keep from crying. I always used to cry. I hated that part most of all. I hated that he saw me like that. Luthors aren't supposed to show weakness. That's what my father always said. He didn't even pull up my pants for me in those days. He just left me lying there in bed, half naked and completely embarrassed. Ha, ha, ha get the joke? Okay, so maybe comedy doesn't work for me. Then he would lean over and whisper in my ear. He always said the same thing.  
  
"And what do you say if mommy, or anyone else finds out what happened to you?"  
  
"Somebody grabbed me when I was coming home from school I didn't see his face." I could barely speak back then, through the tears. Then he would kiss the back of my neck. He does it again.  
  
"Good boy," he whispered, both in the old days and again now.  
  
At least today he pulled my jeans back up. This time he at least leaves me in a dignified position. As dignified as you can be in a straight jacket anyway.  
  
"See you later, Lex ." He leaves the room, shutting off the light. Only, today there are no lights for him to switch off. At least the closet monsters can't creep out and get me today. I wish Clark were here. God. I hate my father. 


	2. Clark comes to visit

Okay, so maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I don't know. Lex is my friend, was my friend, I don't know. He hurt Lana, but he wasn't feeling well when that happened. Everyone seems to think he's crazy, but I'm not sure. He made so much sense.  
  
Everything he said. . .  
  
It didn't sound crazy. . .  
  
And I loved Lex. It's hard when someone you love is sick. I missed him so much. So, I went to the asylum to visit him. I hadn't been able to sleep for a few days; it had been too long since Lex and I had been together. Too long since I had felt his hands on me. It was horrible. I woke up early, really, really early. It was about 5:00 when I finished all my chores. Then I went back into the house and sat down in the kitchen. When my mom came down to make breakfast she saw me, and put her hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Clark, what's the mater?" She asked.  
  
"I was just thinking about Lex."  
  
"Maybe you should go visit him."  
  
"Can I?"  
  
"Just don't tell your father," she rubbed my back. I nodded.  
  
"I know. You won't either, right?"  
  
"If you make sure you get to school on time."  
  
"Yeah like that'll be a problem." I rolled my eyes. I had hours and hours.  
  
"You two have a tendency to lose track of time when you and Lex get together." I laughed. She had no idea. If my parents knew about Lex, and me they would of freaked. I didn't know what to say about it.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"What do you and Lex do together?"  
  
Oh great, Mom. Just come right out and ask it why don't you? I blushed.  
  
"We talk, mostly."  
  
"He doesn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, does he?"  
  
"No, Mom. Lex is a good guy, really."  
  
"Just be careful, Clark. You know we worry about you."  
  
"Thanks. I should get moving. I'm gonna run at full speed, okay?"  
  
"Make sure nobody sees you, Clark."  
  
"No, kidding." I grabbed my backpack and ran to where they were keeping Lex. Getting into the building was surprisingly easy. You'd think that they would have better security in a place like that. Then again most of the people they are looking out for can't do what I can do. I managed to sneak into Lex's room. He was laying on the floor curled up in the fetal position. Lex was rocking back and forth. They had tied him up in this straightjacket. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was horrible.  
  
"Dad, no," he said in a whisper voice. I could barely hear it, I wonder if anyone else had been there if they would have been able to hear it at all. Doubt it.  
  
"It's me, Lex. It's Clark. Kent."  
  
"Clark?" He croaked.  
  
"Yeah. I missed you." I kneeled next to him and ran my hand down his back. He shivered as I reached his hips. "What's wrong, Lex?"  
  
"Can't. No. My. Father."  
  
"What? What did your father do? Was he here?"  
  
"Cant. Talk."  
  
"Lex. Come on. This is me."  
  
"Clark."  
  
"Yeah. It's me, Clark. Lex. Please, talk to me."  
  
"He was here."  
  
"Who, your dad?" Lex nodded. "What did he do to you?" Lex shook his head. "Please," I begged. I pulled Lex into my arms, and together we rocked back and forth. I kissed his scalp over and over. "It's okay, Lex. It's okay"  
  
"No. Not. Okay."  
  
"What's the mater with you?" Lex turned his face up at me and started angrily. That was the first time I was able to get a good look at him. His eyes were sunken, dark black circles under them. He looked like a car wreck. No, I had seen him after a car wreck. He looked much worse.  
  
"Dad."  
  
"What did he do, Lex. I can't help you if you don't tell me." Then Lex made a noise that was halfway between a grunt and a snort. I thought he might be laughing.  
  
"Nobody can help me." It was the first thing he hadn't said in monosyllables  
  
"I'm not nobody. I'm Clark; remember? I'm special. You're the one who keeps telling me that, Lex."  
  
"Yeah. I guess. I guess you kind of are."  
  
"So, why don't you tell me what happened. Maybe I can help. I can't make it any worse can I?"  
  
"No. No, you cant."  
  
"That's right." I kissed him on the top of the head. Lex looked up at me terrified. "No." He nodded. "I'll kill him."  
  
"Don't go," Lex looked up at me desperately. He was fighting the restraints on the straightjacket. It looked like he was about to hurt himself.  
  
"If you promise not to hurt yourself, I can untie that for you." Lex nodded. I ripped the back off it and Lex's arms dropped to his lap. He tried to rub one with the other but there was no strength in either arm.  
  
"Thanks, Clark." He said dryly.  
  
"Tell me what happened?" Lex nodded, and licked his lips. I kissed his head again. "It's okay baby, take your time." 


	3. Lex tells his story

When Clark first came into the room I had my back to the door so I couldn't see who it was. Until I heard his voice, I thought maybe my father had come back. My wrists suddenly felt like the veins in them had filled with ice. I balled myself up as tightly as possible, thinking maybe my dad would just go away. The footsteps just kept moving closer. Then there was this soft and kind voice, like an angel. My own personal angel. It seemed fitting that I kept calling Clark that, what with his having fallen out of the sky and all. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about me blabbing his secret anymore. If I do say anything now, it'll sound like the crazy ramblings they expect from me. I was glad Clark was there. I knew he would protect me if my dad came back. He knelt down next to me, and put his hands on my back. Even though I know it was Clark his hands (now on my waist) send this flash out in my mind. It's like a spark. Its. . . Then I started screaming. Clark scooped me up into his arms and held me. It's almost safe there. He kept asking me what happened. He kept pushing, I had to tell him. Oh God, am I in for it now. I'm sorry. Clark made me tell him.  
  
". . .I'll kill him."  
  
"Don't go." He sighed. Oh Clark, my poor baby. I never meant for you to see me like this.  
  
Never meant to. . .  
  
Never. . .  
  
Clark undid the back of the straightjacket. He said something. I think it might have been a question. Even through the numbness and tingling of my arms waking up, it feels amazing to be free. It feels so good. I wrapped my arms around Clark's neck and began to sob. He kissed my head.  
  
"I love you Lex. It's okay now. I'm here. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again."  
  
"He used to do it when I was a little kid. He used to threaten me. Said hat if I ever told anybody what he did that they wouldn't believe me. He used to say that all the time."  
  
"Oh, Lex." He pressed his lips against mine, but then pulled back because I was shaking. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"You didn't hurt me Clark." I couldn't finish what I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say that had liked it, but I wasn't sure if it was true. I think it did hurt. "It's okay if you wanna kiss me an d stuff. I think I'm okay."  
  
"Don't be stupid Lex. You waited for me last year when I was scared, and now I'll wait for you. That's what people do when they care about someone." As much as I love Clark and wanted to make him happy, I was glad he said that. It was good to know he wasn't going to try and jump my bones at any moment. Not that Clark ever would have done that anyway.  
  
"It was scarier when I was little. This time at least I don't think it's my fault. And this time he didn't see me crying." Even if I didn't look up I could ell that Clark was close to tears himself.  
  
"It was never your fault, Lex. He was the adult. He shouldn't have done that."  
  
"I know, but-" I sighed. I didn't think I could explain it to him. I don't think anyone can understand unless they've been through it themselves. I could explain and explain, but it just wouldn't help. Clark opened his mouth to talk. I knew what he was going to say. HE was going to tell me he knew what I was going through. I remember thinking, if he says that I'll have to slug him.  
  
"I can't even imagine what you're going through. How could he do that to you?"  
  
"I wish I knew."  
  
"Come on, Lex. Let me kill him. It's no fair that he gets to do this to you."  
  
"Stop talking about killing, Clark. You're scaring me!"  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you, baby." He started to repeat it over and over. It was like a mantra or something.  
  
"Clark?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Just promise you wont let it happen again."  
  
"You got it, Lex." We sat there for a little while, and then a nurse came to bring in my breakfast. She looked at Clark, then at me, and then back at him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She asked. I wasn't exactly supposed to have visitors. No one except for immediate family anyway. I guess they figured that was a good way to keep me safe. Protect me? What a joke. The only person, who ever really did any harm to me, is, was, and always be, my father.  
  
"It's okay," I explain, "he's my brother." She looked at me, a little lost and a lot stupid, if you know what I mean. And then she just walked away. "What day is it, Clark?"  
  
"Monday."  
  
"Go to school." I told him. I felt his chest heave. "I' not trying to get rid of you, but if you miss school, your parents will be mad and they wont let you come back. I need you to come back.  
  
"Will you be-" I could tell Clark was about to ask if i was going to be okay. That's a pretty stupid question to ask a guy who just got raped if you ask me. "Will he come back while I'm gone?"  
  
"Nah. He'll be too busy working."  
  
"Can you hang in there until 3:00?"  
  
"Do I have a choice?" I asked sarcastically. Little by little, I was starting to push all this shit deep inside of me. I was starting to feel a tiny bit better. Clark kissed me. This time didn't fight it felt good to be loved. Everything he did felt good.  
  
"I love you, Lex. I'll be back the second I finish at school."  
  
"Don't let anybody see you running."  
  
"You sound like my mom." He smiled. "Do I ever?" Clark can be a pain in the ass sometimes. He thinks he's always right. I guess that's what I get for dating a teenager.  
  
"Do you really want me to answer that?"  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"I love you, Clark, but you have to get to school."  
  
"I know." Then, just as soon as he had come in, he was gone. 


	4. beginings

It was the longest school day of my entire life. All morning my classes dragged on and on. I couldn't concentrate. My mind kept going back to Lex. And his dad. God. How could anyone treat his own son like that? Then again betrayal wasn't anything new between the two of them. But still. . . I need to talk to someone about it. At lunch I sat down with Pete, Lana, and Chloe.  
  
"You missed the bus this morning, Clark." Chloe said. She sounded worried.  
  
"You're acting like that was something new." Pete, of course. He lives to torture me, but in a good way of course.  
  
"I was-" I looked over at Lana. She smiled weekly, but I could tell she wasn't feeling very good. She had only just come back to school that day. "I was with Lex."  
  
"Why?" All tree of them shouted at me at once.  
  
"I wanted to check on him. I was worried." Lana sighed and stood up. "Don't go," I said and grabbed my back. "You don't have to. I can tell when I'm not welcome." Pete came running after me.  
  
"Hey, man, what are you doing?"  
  
"Lex's father is-" I couldn't bring myself to say the word. "He's hurting him."  
  
"What do you-whoa." The look of realization on his face was priceless. In any other situation I would have wished for a camera.  
  
"Yeah. Just don't tell anyone okay?"  
  
"Ok-wait a minute. This happened in the hospital?" I nodded I didn't really feel like talking. I felt like throwing up. "Wasn't someone watching him?"  
  
"I guess not."  
  
"Maybe you should stay out of this. Don't get involved."  
  
"I'm already involved. Lex and I are lovers."  
  
"That's illegal!" Pete screamed. I put my hand over his mouth. Great. That was just what I needed. A few people stared at us but then walked away.  
  
"Would you shut up? It's fine. Lex wasn't hurting me. And now, now all he's cable f is laying on the floor in the fetal position."  
  
"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, man."  
  
"Does it matter?" I cut the rest of my classes that day. Lex needed me, and I needed to be with him. He was sitting in the corner, doped to the gills by the look of it, and smiling.  
  
"How is Smallvile's favorite alien?" He asked a little too loudly. Then from whatever drugs they had pumped him full of he began to laugh. I don't know what was worse; seeing him like this, or how he was this morning.  
  
"Did you tell anyone what happened?"  
  
"Who would believe me?" Lex tried to walk over to where I was standing but he fell flat on his face. I rushed over to help him up.  
  
"Take it easy there, Lex. Nobody expects you to run a marathon right now."  
  
"It'd be nice to just be able to get to the bathroom on my own." I had to admit that sounded pretty shitty.  
  
"You're going to be okay. I'm gonna figure out a way to get you out of here."  
  
"This isn't like pulling me out of a car, Clark." I sighed. Lex was right. This wasn't gong to be easy. I had no idea how to help Lex.  
  
"Come here baby," I said wrapping my arms around him. This at least I could do. I felt Lex swallowing hard. He was fighting tears. II kissed him on the cheek and then on the neck, then the head. "You gotta cry, Lex. I know it hurts, but it makes the pain less." He started to sob. I didn't know if he was ever going to stop, but I didn't care. I just held him.  
  
"Thanks," he said after a long time, wiping his nose. Lex snuggled to me and fell asleep. I watched his chest going up and down. I looked over at my watch to see what time it was. 5:30. My parents were probably starting to wonder where I was. I knew I would be spending the night with Lex. I knew I couldn't leave him alone.  
  
"I love you, baby." I whispered.  
  
"Well, well, well," I heard a voice from the other side of the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It was Lionel Luthor.  
  
Shit.  
  
"If it isn't Clark Kent."  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I could ask you the same question." "Lex told me what you did. I'm not letting you hurt him anymore."  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about." That voice, calm, smooth, and ice cold. It made me shiver. Lex must have heard it too, because he woke up.  
  
"Clark?" Lex looked at me his eyes filled with tears and terror.  
  
"Don't worry, Lex. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."  
  
"Isn't that, quaint? Now Lex, really, I'm surprised. This is defiantly not what I was expecting from you." Lex's body shook. I kissed the top of his head, not caring that Lionel was there.  
  
"Would you please leave?" I said through clenched teeth. I figured that I was probably scaring Lex, but I didn't care. Lionel was leaving without getting what he wanted. I was going to keep Lex safe.  
  
"Lex is my son," he explained. "I have the right to be here. You on the other hand. . ." I sneered at him.  
  
"You hurt him! You scared the crap out of him!" I shouted. Lex cowered in the corner.  
  
"Looks to me like you're the one scaring him." I glared at Lionel. "Besides, Lex needs to be taught a lesson."  
  
"No. Leave him alone."  
  
"Clark, Clark, Clark." He said and moved closer to me. He ran his hand through my hair.  
  
"Dad, no." I heard Lex whimper from the corner.  
  
"If I let you do this, will you promise to leave Lex alone?"  
  
"I'll have to think about that." I closed my eyes. I could feel Lionel's erection against my but. No matter what, this was going to happen. I just had to protect Lex.  
  
"Clark, no. Don't." Lex was crying.  
  
"You have to leave when you finish with me and not come back here."  
  
"Alright," I heard his heavy breathing. "You're much better looking than he is anyway." I looked over at Lex and smiled weakly. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I knew I had protected him for tonight. That was all that mattered. "Oh and one more thing." Lionel reached into his pocket. He pulled out a meteor rock.  
  
"Shit." My chest tightened, and I felt like I was about to vomit. I couldn't breath. Lionel let go and I fell to the floor. He dropped the rock into the front pocket of my shirt, and laid down on top of me.  
  
"Now really, watch your language farm boy." That was how it all started. 


	5. my protector

They redid the straps on the back of the straightjacket after cark left that morning. If they hadn't, I would have probably strangled my father the minute he started in after Clark. I moved away from Clark when he started yelling at my dad. It was just too much. I couldn't be there. So I started to slip away.  
  
But what about Clark. . .  
  
I couldn't protect him. I had to, but I knew I couldn't.  
  
"Stop it, Dad."  
  
"Now, now, Lex. . ." He went into one of those stupid speeches. I didn't even listen this time. There was this dropping sound, like a sack of shit or something. I looked up; Clark had fallen.  
  
"What did you do?" I scooted over to Clark He was panting, and there was sweat pouring down from his pits and neck and back.  
  
Kryptonite. . .  
  
Dad must have brought it with him. "Clark." I kissed his cheek.  
  
"Lex," he gasped. "It hurts."  
  
"I know, baby." I kissed him again. "But it'll be over fast." I promised. That's the one good thing about my father; he always cuts right to the chase. Ha. Ha. Ha.  
  
"Good boy," he whispered in Clark's ear. "You want some, Lex?"  
  
"Go away."  
  
"See you later, boys." My dad laughed and left. He didn't even take the kryptonite out of Clark's pocket.  
  
"Baby, I know you're in pain, but if you can get me out of the straightjacket I can get that thing out of your pocket." Clark pulled it all the way off, leaving me with nothing on above the waist.  
  
I pulled Clark into my arms I plucked the rock from his pocket. God. It was so small. How could something so tiny do so much harm to someone as big and strong as Clark? I chucked the thing across the room. I watched Clark's wounds disappear before my eyes.  
  
"See," Clark sat up and pulled his jeans up. He buckled them. "I'm fine. Really."  
  
"Clark . . ." I put my arms around his shoulder.  
  
"Lex, how did he know?" Clark sobbed. I had no answer for him. I know I didn't tell him. I would never ever tell my dad something like that. I wouldn't ever let anybody hurt Clark if I could help it. I love him.  
  
"I didn't tell him."  
  
"I know. Do you think he heard us or something?" I shook my head.  
  
Oh Clark. My poor baby. I held his head to my chest and let him cry for a while. Later a nurse came with my dinner.  
  
"Are you supposed to have that off?"  
  
"Yeah. The doctor said so. He said forty minutes a day or something. Weren't you paying attention?" She nodded. "Is he okay?" The woman asked nodding at Clark.  
  
Of course he's not okay! I wanted to scream. I wanted to get up and beat the shit out of her. But I knew I would only be making things worse for Clark.  
  
"He's fine. My father dropped a small polished stone on his way out. If you could bring it to the front desk, please. He'll probably come back for it." The nurse left picking up the chunk of Kryptonite as she did. "I'm so sorry, Clark." I rocked with him.  
  
"We gotta figure out what he knows. . ."  
  
"You mean about your abilities?" Clark nodded again, distracted. A tiny bit of hair flopped over his eyes. I brushed it back, picking up tears with my hand as I brushed it against his face. I pressed my lips to his face. "I'm starting to get better baby. I'll get out of here ASAP. Then we can deal with my father."  
  
"I'll give him what he wants."  
  
"No, baby. I'll do it."  
  
"But he said-"  
  
"He only said that scare you. I kissed him. Then I ran my fingers through the little bit of hair that curled at the base of his neck. "But it's true. You are much cuter than I am."  
  
"I don't think so" He pressed his lips to my own. This was the first time we both felt like kissing each other.  
  
"I know. That's why I love you." That night I made love to Clark for the first time, ever. Clark hadn't been ready before then, and I had respected that. It's almost funny; that it took my father's raping him to get Clark to trust me enough to be able to stick it in him. Around seven, I sent him home. He fought me when I first told him, but I knew he was terrified that my dad would come back. He would be safe at his house.  
  
"Just be careful," I told him.  
  
"You too, Lex." I nodded.  
  
"Clark," I put my hand on his.  
  
"You work on getting better. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you again."  
  
"Baby, I cant-"  
  
"Shh" he put a finger over my lips. "I'll be okay. I think."  
  
"It wont do any good if we both end up in here."  
  
"We wont, Lex."  
  
"Clark, I don't want any one to hurt you."  
  
"It wasn't that bad, except for..." He didn't have to say it. If only my dad hadn't slipped him the rock. He would have been okay other wise.  
  
"Sorry, my dad's always been a bit of a bastard."  
  
"A bit?" I tossed a pillow at Clark. He smiled and caught it, of course. "Are you sure you want me to go?" I ran over and hugged him. Then I explained to him that I never ever wanted him to leave. "I know," he sighed. "I love you, Lex."  
  
"I love you to, baby. Be careful. And no more skipping school."  
  
"Why not? You did it."  
  
"You gonna do everything I ever did?"  
  
"No, I guess not." 


	6. day after day

I didn't want to leave Lex, but he was right; I had to go home. I took my time getting there, walking sluggishly. My head pounded.  
  
Lex.  
  
Would he be all right? Would I be all right? After a little while, I noticed that every time a cricket chirped or the wind blew or something, I jumped ten feet in the air. Pretty good, especially with my fear of heights and all. I had protected Lex by playing the part of sacrificial lamb, but it had hurt. Oh man, it really hurt. I tried to lie to myself and say that it was the meteor rock that was the worst of it all, but even then I knew it wasn't the truth. Lex had been right. This was the scariest t damn thing that had ever happened to me. And at the same time I felt like it wasn't even me that it happened to. It was so much easier to distance myself. It made sense when I thought of the people who had been in Lex's room as characters in a movie rather than myself, and my best friend. And him. When I got home, I didn't go in right away. The only thing I wanted to do was go be with Lex. I wanted him to hold me  
  
And. .  
  
"Clark?" My mom stepped out on to the porch. "Are you all right?" I shrugged. "How's Lex?"  
  
"I'm not sure. He said he was feeling better. But it's hard to tell." She tried to hug me. At that time it didn't feel rig. I was so scared and hurt. I had to pull away. They say that a move can always tell what is wrong with her kids. I had hoped that since she hadn't given birth to me, maybe my mom wouldn't figure out what had happened. But, she did.  
  
"Who was it, Clark?" My dad stepped out on to the porch.  
  
"Who was what?" He asked. My mom took his hand. All I wanted to do was leave. I just wanted to be alone. No, I just wanted to be with Lex. I wanted him to make love to me again. Everything was okay with Lex. It was never rushed never painful; he never did anything I wanted to do. With Lionel it had hurt. IT had hurt so much. And I had never been so scared in my whole life.  
  
"Lionel Luthor . . ." I took a deep breath. Then I told them everything that had happened with Lex's dad. I did not, however, tell them about Lex and me. I figured that was too much for one night.  
  
"Son, you can't go back there. Who knows what could happen. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Lex was in on this whole thing?"  
  
"No dad, trust me. Lex is terrified of him. He was-was shaking."  
  
"You cant put yourself into situations where you know you're going to be hurt."  
  
"So I'm just supposed to let Lex get raped?"  
  
"Better than you getting killed."  
  
"I have to protect him."  
  
"You won't be able to do that if Lionel Luthor kills you."  
  
"He wouldn't do that. It would be too hard to get rid of the body. "  
  
"Clark . . ." my mom started. She tried to give me another hug.  
  
"I'm scared, Mom. Dad. I don't want to go back." I let her hold me for a while. The tears built up in my eyes and fell down my cheeks. Gently she pulled my face forward and wiped the tears away, just like she used to when I was little.  
  
"Do you have to?"  
  
"Lex needs me." We talked a little more, but I still didn't tell them about Lex and my relationship. I went upstairs and climbed into bed but didn't sleep. That was Monday. IT was Friday before I was able to sleep again. Every morning I got up, did my chores, went to school, visited Lex, let his father fuck me so that he wouldn't hurt lx, went home and went to bed. Sometimes I ate but most days I wasn't hungry. Things went on like that for a few weeks. Every day Lex seemed to get a little bit better. After he had been in the hospital for three weeks, they moved Lex from the padded cell into a room with a bed and chairs for his visitors. About a month after that Lex told me he was going home. It was going to be a few days though because some things still needed to be sorted out. I didn't really understand and I didn't ask any questions. At lunch I sat alone. First of all because I didn't feel like talking, but more because I thought nobody wanted to talk to me. The day before Lex was supposed to come home, Lana came by the place I was sitting and not eating.  
  
"Aren't you eating anything?" She asked as she sat down close to me. I shook my head. "You haven't been acting like your self lately. You've been . . . quiet."  
  
"Sorry." She put her hand d on my knee. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming, but I couldn't control the shakes. I hated feeling that way. Anytime anyone touched me I jumped out of my skin.  
  
"What's wrong?" I don't want to say anything. I didn't think it was fair to upset her. Even though I didn't feel the same way I used to about her, I still thought of her as my friend. I still cared about her. "How's Lex?" She decided to talk about something else. Maybe she thought I'd say more about that.  
  
"He's going home tomorrow." I couldn't look at her. I was too scared that she might figure out what was going on with me. "Please, tell me what's happening, Clark."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Fine," she sighed. She sounded angry. "Will you tell Lex I hope he feels better?"  
  
"Come with me? I'm going to visit him this afternoon." I hoped that if Lionel showed up and Lana wasn't there he wouldn't do anything. Then I got a horrible idea. What if Lionel hurt her too? I would never be able to forgive myself.  
  
"I don't think I can."  
  
"That's okay. He's not really supposed to have visitors except for family."  
  
"How did you get in?"  
  
"I told them I was his brother." I blushed. "Actually, Lex did."  
  
"I guess some things never change." Lana laughed. IT was good to hear that. I laughed too, and it was the first time n the morning.  
  
"Well he was just-" Then she kissed me. And this wasn't one of those stupid little things we had messed around with before. This was a real, full, opened mouth kiss. It was what I had always dreamed of. Only it came too late. The only person I loved any more, at least in that way, was Lex. I knew he was the one for me. And with all that had been going on with the Lex's dad, the unexpected kiss scared the crap out of me. Lana must have sensed something because she pulled back right away. "I'm sorry. But-" I didn't know what to say.  
  
"You don't have to make excuses, Clark. You can just say that you don't like me. Chloe will be glad to hear that."  
  
"Lex and I are in love." I blurted out.  
  
"You what? When did this happen?"  
  
"About a year ago. But we didn't. You know, until about two months ago" She put her hand on my shoulder. I sighed; I didn't feel like explaining things then.  
  
"Is he nice to you? I nodded. "So that's not what's bothering you, hu?" I shook my head. "Clark, you can talk to me."  
  
"Lex's dad. Rapes him." Lana gasped. "And I've been keeping him safe for the past two months."  
  
"You mean his dad.." I nodded. "To you?" "Yeah."  
  
"Why do you keep going back there?"  
  
"You didn't see Lex that day. I know he'd do the same thing for me if the situation were reversed."  
  
"I guess, if you're sure then. . ."  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"Do your parents know?" I nodded again. I really didn't want to talk. "What did they say?"  
  
"Stay away from there."  
  
"Bu you're to going to listen?"  
  
"I can't let him hurt Lex."  
  
"But what about you?"  
  
"I'll be all right."  
  
"Will you?"  
  
"Yeah." But I think even she knew that was a lie. 


	7. flying to my home

I'm glad to be going home, but I'm scared too. I wont be going back to work for a while, so it's going to be just me and Dad in the mansion. Here at least I've been safe. During the day, he's working and he doesn't bother me. And then at night, Clark has been protecting me. When I was little I used to deal with things by disappearing into my imagination. Clark can't do that. He just tries to hold everything together and that doesn't really work. The day I was supposed to leave, Clark decided to spend the night. My dad never showed up. Clark started to freak out.  
  
"It's okay, baby." I tried to sooth him. I kissed Clark everywhere my lips could reach.  
  
"Why isn't he here, Lex? What's going on?"  
  
I don't know. I didn't want to say that to him, though.  
  
"He came earlier," I lied. "He was here this morning."  
  
"What?" Clark looked up at me with tear stained cheeks. It broke my heart to see him, crying like that.  
  
Please stop crying. I begged him silently. Don't you know how much it hurts me to see you crying? I lied to Clark, but it made him feel better. It wasn't that he wanted to get rapped, but he had gotten used to it, the change was scarier than what had between happing to him. He was so used to what my dad was doing that when it didn't happen he didn't know what to expect. Clark spent the night in my arms. I was released around noon the next day. I drove him back to the Kent's farm, and pulled up in front. He clung to me as I leaned over and unlocked his door.  
  
"Its okay, Clark. I'll stop by tomorrow. Okay?"  
  
"Come inside with me?" I shook my head. "Why?"  
  
"You know why. Your date hates me. And he blames me for what my dad did to you. He should. I should have just taken it like a man."  
  
"Lex, he's a monster. You probably would have never gotten out of that straightjacket if I hadn't-"The front door opened. Martha and Jonathan were waiting for their son.  
  
"You better go." Clark grudgingly got out of the car. I watched his parents. They both hugged him. It looked like the hug was making things worse that happens sometimes. But Clark didn't fight them.  
  
He's so lucky, I thought. I suddenly wished Clark and I were brothers, with his parents, of course. I'd give up everything I had with him for parents who cared about me like that. When I got home, I knew my dad would be waiting for me. I trudged up the stairs and opened the door to my bedroom. And there, lying in my bed was my father. But I could tell right away that something wasn't right.  
  
He wasn't breathing. He's dead. . .  
  
Two hours later I was standing in the emergency room talking to this idiot doctor who wasn't much older than me. He said something about how they had worked hard to save my dad's life, but it was too late. He had come in DOA, but they tried to resituate him. Despite all their efforts, he said. My father had died.  
  
"Excuse me," I said. I ran to the bathroom and puked.  
  
I'm free. That was my first thought. Then. . .  
  
God. He's dead. . .  
  
This is never what I wanted. As many times as he had hurt me. . . As often as he had done shitty things to me, he was still my father. I looked down at my vomit covered shoes.  
  
Great. . .  
  
Just fucking great. . .  
  
"Hello?" Clark answered the phone; I could tell from the way he did that he had been asleep. I woke him up. I only hoped he wasn't having nightmares.  
  
"Clark?" I croaked.  
  
Stop that. I told myself.  
  
"Lex, are you alright? I'll be right there. I'll keep you safe."  
  
"Clark, my dad just died."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I don't know. I came home and he was dead." I sighed. Clark came over and we sat down on the sofa. He held me in his arms. "I have to go to Metropolis for a few days."  
  
"Let me come with. I have a long weekend from school."  
  
"No, I have to do it alone. Plus its gonna be longer than you're off of school. Clark, I have to take over the business stuff. I don't know if I'm coming back here."  
  
"You can't leave me!" He shouted and wrapped his arms around my neck tightly, maybe a little too tightly. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to cry. I wanted. . . I wanted everything to just go back to normal.  
  
"Do you think that I want to?" I sniffed. Clark snuggled to me.  
  
"Let me come with, Lex. Please?" he begged. I gave in.  
  
"Okay, baby."  
  
"I love you, Lex," he kissed the top of my head. I laid down on top of Clark, pressing my erection into his thigh. Clark moaned softly. I made love to him right there on the sofa. I kissed him as we both came. He spilled his load onto the sofa.  
  
"Damn, that's gonna be hell to clean up."  
  
"Do I have to?"  
  
"No, I pay some one for that."  
  
"You pay someone to clean up cum?"  
  
"Clark, don't be stupid. I pay someone to clean the house. They won't know what that is."  
  
"Will they be able to clean it up if they don't know what it is?" I shrugged. "Oh well, who cares?"  
  
"Not me." I smiled weakly. "Come on, Clark. Let's go to bed." I took him upstairs and put him to bed. Clark and I slept together that night. I packed in the morning and got ready to go to Metropolis for the funeral and the arrangements. Then I drove Clark to his house and helped him pack. He explained what had happened to his parents. They didn't want him to come with, but they eventually let him.  
  
Clark and I stepped into the limo and he snuggled into my arms. We sat together like that while the car was driven into the city. I cried a little, and Clark held me, but most of the time we were quiet. I wasn't ready to talk. I was still too busy trying to figure out what I was going to say at the funeral. Being Lionel Luthor's first born son, and only heir I was going to be expected to give a eulogy. I had nothing good to tell about my father. I hated him for most of my life, and feared him for the rest of it. I was in deep shit.  
  
Thanks Dad.  
  
Thanks a lot! 


	8. leaving

When the phone rang I knew without picking it up that Lex was calling. I chewed on my lip.  
  
"I can't do this," I told my parents who were sitting at the kitchen table with me. "I wish this whole thing would go away."  
  
"You don't have to answer, son." MY dad said putting his hand on my shoulder but he took it off right away.  
  
"Yeah, I do." I walked over and picked up the phone. Lex sounded bad. He sounded worse than I had ever heard him. His voice was doing that frog thing again. I closed my eyes.  
  
No more, please. I preyed. I couldn't stand the thought of Lionel's hands on me again. When Lex told me his dad had died I couldn't figure out why he sounded so upset. I was thrilled. There would never be another night where I would have to be the one taking it from that bastard. I told Lex I'd be right over.  
  
"Clark, no." My mom pleaded with me.  
  
"You wont be any help to Lex if you let his father wear you down completely. Stay here tomorrow you can go help Lex."  
  
"Lex's dad died." Both my parents looked relieved. Then a look of horror came over their faces.  
  
"How?" MY dad finally managed to ask.  
  
"Lex said he had a heart attack. He sounded bad, I need to go right over there."  
  
"Wait a little while," my mom said. "Let me make something for you to bring over there to eat."  
  
"I'm not hungry, and Lex has plenty of food."  
  
"You're never hungry anymore." I shrugged.  
  
"Clark I don't want to see you waste away to nothing." I rolled my eyes.  
  
Sheish Mom, stop worrying me. IT won't KILL me. After all, nothing can. I've been hit by a car, stuck my arm in a wood chipper, had a tractor dropped on me, and about a million other things that I don't even want to think of. None of these things hurt me why would not eating?  
  
"I'm fine, Mom." She hugged me.  
  
"Oh, Clark. I just love you so much and I hate seeing you in pain like this."  
  
"I hate feeling like this," I admitted. Sometimes when my parents hugged me, I got scared. It was mostly because I couldn't shut off the alarms in my brain. After Lex's dad started fucking me, ever touch from everyone seemed dangerous. And at the same time I craved touching. I needed physical contact, desperately. Most nights after his dad left, I'd beg Lex to fuck me. IT took away the pain after the first incident and it always took my mind off things. When Lx and I made love I don't have to think of anything. All that was on my mind was how much I loved him, and how much he loved me.  
  
When Lex told me he was going to Metropolis, it took more begging than it should have to get him to let me come. IT felt like he didn't want me there. But I didn't say anything. WE took a limo to the farm because Lex didn't feel like diving. IT pulled up in front. HE offered to come in with me. I didn't say anything, but took his hand and led him inside.  
  
"Good afternoon, Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent," he nodded to my parents.  
  
"Lex, I'm so sorry to hear about your father," my mom said to him, but it sounded like a lie. I could only hope Lex didn't hear it that way/  
  
"Yeah. He didn't treat me great all the time, but I still loved him and I think he loved me too. Sometimes." I asked my parents if I could go with Lex for the weekend. It was pretty easy to see they didn't want me to go, but they said yes. Lex came up to my room to help me pack. Compared to Lex's room in the mansion, my bedroom was a shoebox. HE didn't say anything about that though. HE just sat down on the bed while I got out a suitcase.  
  
:"Lex?" He looked up from the spot on the floor he had been studying. "What's going to happen now?"  
  
"I'll probably take over his position at Luthor Corps?"  
  
"Does that mean you'll have to move to Metropolis permanently?" I stopped packing and sat down next to Lex. He put his arm around my shoulder. WE sat there for a minute neither of us saying anything. I didn't like that.  
  
"I might Clark," he sighed. "I hope not, but I might have to."  
  
"Lex, no, you can't! I-without you, I'll never make it." I turned away. Lex grabbed my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. IT didn't hurt or anything, but it showed me how serious he was.  
  
"Don't talk like that!" I pulled away.  
  
"Don't leave," I ordered and stood up. I started to pack again. Even without my powers, it didn't take long. Lex didn't talk the whole time. I was scared he might be mad at me.  
  
"Clark, I love you and all I want is for you to be happy."  
  
"But-" I sobbed.  
  
"Yeah, there's a but alright. A big fat one at that." Any other time I would have laughed at that, but not then. "I might not be able to do what I need to do and be in Smallville."  
  
"Why do you have to do anything?" I felt the tears dripping down my cheeks and rubbed them away with my sleeve.  
  
"Baby," Lex stood up and put his hand on my cheek. That was the exact moment my dad chose to walk into the room.  
  
"Clark, do you need to borrow a su-" He saw Lex next to me and thought the worst. "Get your filthy hands off my son!" HE shouted. "And get the hell out of here before I called the police.  
  
"Dad, no! You don't understand."  
  
"What is there to understand, Clark? I know you're young, but you have to know what he was. . ."  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Kent. I'll leave."  
  
"No!" I grabbed Lex and hugged him tightly, probably too tightly. I heard him grunt a little. "Dad, Lex and I-"  
  
"IF you don't get away from my son right his second. . ."  
  
"I can't." Lex tried to pull free from my arms.  
  
"How could you take advantage of him like that, and after all that he's done fro you?"  
  
"Dad, Lex and I fell in love BEFORE his dad started hurting me. But Lex never made me DO anything I didn't want to. HE always waited until I was ready."  
  
"IS that true?" Lex didn't look up from the floor, but nodded. I rubbed his back. Lex's body was shaking.  
  
Shit, I thought to myself. I knew I had fucked up big game.  
  
"I'm sorry, Lex." I whispered as I let him go. My dad just looked at him.  
  
"I'm not sure if you should go, Clark."  
  
"I'm going whether you let me or not." Lex moved even farther away.  
  
"No Clark. Listen to your father. IF he says not to go, then stay here."  
  
"I', not scared when Lex is around." I shouted at my dad. "That's the only time I EVER feel safe." My dad looked heart broken. I felt bad about saying that, but it was the truth. MY dad sighed.  
  
"If it's aright with Lex, you can go." I looked over at Lex terrified he would say no, but he nodded. I borrowed a suit from my dad. It didn't fit too well, Lex offered to buy one but my dad refused. My parents walked with me to the limo and both of them hugged me goodbye.  
  
"Make sure he eats something," my mom said. Just the thought of food, not to mention actual eating, was enough to make me want to puke. But I knew she was just concerned and so I can understand why she said it.  
  
"I will," Lex said as he kissed my temple. I saw the look of horror in my mom's eyes even though I had explained our relationship to her. I managed a smile that actually looked like a real one. It wasn't that I didn't like the kiss. IT didn't even hurt or anything. It was just that I was going to a funeral; Even though it was for a guy who was a bastard, I still wasn't thrilled. Smiling was the last thing I felt like doing.  
  
"Mom, it's okay," I said. But my voice sounded weak. I knew it would be a long time before either of them trusted Lex. I could only hope that one day they would. I hugged them again and Lex and I got into the Limo and it drove away. I watched out the window as the farm got smaller and smaller. Then it disappeared completely. 


	9. the end

This is actually going over a LOT of stuff that happened in the pervious chapter Lex that I only highlighted  
  
Clark stared out the window for a long and I started to think about what his dad had said. I decided he was right; I was taking advantage of Clark. He shouldn't even have been in that hospital room; he shouldn't have been NEAR my dad. I let all this happen to him. I thought for a while and came to the conclusion that it would be best for Clark if I broke up with him, He was the only person, except my mom, but that was different, who I ever had loved. Dumping Clark would be hard; it would dissolve our friendship completely, but I couldn't keep taking advantage of him. Clark moved his eyes around the limo. He looked at everything. HE asked me a question but didn't hear so I asked him to repeat it.  
  
"Can I turn on the radio?" I nodded. I didn't feel much like talking. After a little while, I looked thought the liquor cabinet.  
  
"Want a drink?" I asked Clark who was still fiddling around with the radio.  
  
"What do you have?" I looked around there wasn't anything in there for him to drink. "I won't tell anyone." He said when I explained I had nothing but alcohol.  
  
"I'll give you a shot if you eat something." HE rubbed his arm absently. "A shot is a measurement of whiskey." I explained.  
  
"I know that!" HE spat. I turned and stared out the window. There is nothing between Smallville and metropolis except for farms. Three hours of fucking corn fields. I heard the voice on the radio singing.  
  
. . .I love you  
  
I hate you. . .  
  
I just can't live without you. . .  
  
SHIT! I thought. Then it tried to turn the radio of but I just turn the volume way up.  
  
"Sorry." Clark quickly shut the music off. I put my hadnd on his leg. He tried to cover up the fact that he was shaking. Clark had told his father I was the only person he wasn't afraid of anymore, but I didn't believe that. He couldn't hide the way his body shook whenever I touched him. It broke my heart. Making love to him was becoming more and more difficult. I considered stopping a few times, but knew it would only make him feel rejected. Unloved. Clark leaned his head against my chest and closed his eyes.  
  
"I love you baby." I whispered into his ear.  
  
That night we slept in the bed, which had been mine as a kid. I lay awake long after Clark had drifted off to sleep. I watched his chest rise and fall and thought about how lucky I was to have him. I tried to decide what to say the next day at the funeral. I wanted to tell the whole world what a horrible person my dad was. But then I realized anyone who was going to his funeral already knew my dad well enough to know what he was really like.  
  
"Besides," my dads voice rang out in my mind "you don't have the balls to do that type of thing, do you. Lex?" I shuddered. Even dead, my father had total control over me. He was right though. I'm nothing but a big toward. I made a rough outline for the eulogy. IT was the ordinary bullshit that everyone would want but no one would believe. I fell asleep shortly after 4:00 and had nightmares until I woke up. When I woke up in the morning, Clark kissed me. He smiled It was getting closed to a real smile. I was starting to believe he might be okay after all.  
  
"You-u never did give met that scotch." He said as we headed for the shower. I turned on the water and climbed in.  
  
"It's seven in the morning, Clark."  
  
"SO?"  
  
"Only alcoholic's drink at this time." I spanked him playfully on the ass. HE apologized. "Hey," I hugged him. "Eat breakfast and then I'll see what I can do. I think we're both going to need something to get through today."  
  
"Why do people keep telling me to eat?" HE shouted. "I'm not hungry" I winced. Clark moved away when I reached up to touch him.  
  
"Your mom and dad and I care about you, Clark. You haven't eaten in . . . Too long. You're going to get sick soon."  
  
"I can't get sick, Lex. I hate what I am!"  
  
"What are you?" HE finally let me hug him and there were no shakes accompanying it.  
  
"A freak." He said staring at the ground.  
  
"Oh, baby/" I kissed him. "I don't think you're a freak."  
  
"I just want to be normal."  
  
"I know; I understand what it's like to be different." I ran my hand over my scalp. It's not that easy being completely bald at twenty-five, but it's even worse as a little kid. I try and pretend that it doesn't bother me anymore, but I'm pretty sure I don't fool anyone. I know Clark isn't fooled. "You're bald. I'm a fucking alien. It's completely different."  
  
"Yeah." I said starting to get angry. "Nobody can SEE that you're room another planet. There are maybe four people in the whole world who know that. Everyone I've met since the day of the meteor shower knows I'm a cue ball."  
  
"Sorry," Clark said quietly.  
  
"NO, Clark. I'm sorry. You're feeling rotten and I yelled at you. Look I've got an idea." Clark looked up at me. There was water on his face and I couldn't tell if it was from the shower or if he was crying. I kissed both of his cheeks just in case.  
  
"What?" He kissed me too, on the cheek though.  
  
"Lets just hang around and check out Metropolis today."  
  
"What about the funeral?"  
  
"I don't really want to go, do you?" Clark shook his head.  
  
"Lex, I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Clark." HE smiled and so did I. And for the first time in a long item, I started to think that maybe things might turn out okay. I was far from having everything figured out, but that didn't matter. I knew that eventually everything would be all right. IT was just going to take time, and love. But I had Clark, and all the time in the world, and that was all that mattered. 


End file.
